surrender

I surrendered my mind and soul, Now I stand here in the darkness slightly confused. still dirty from the hole I felt awake enough to crawl out Into the rain thinking that it would feel better. be better. Something more than the dirt suffocating me with its weight. Instead I reach out into the cold, wet rain and I am sorry. Sorry now that I, now know the pain of the rain. sorry that I am no longer in my dirty, dark hole unable to find a way out Surrender my disappointment As I try to regain my balance. regain my confidence. in me. In you. I surrender to hope.

What do you deserve?

Ok people so with with news today of Chris Brown and Rihanna getting together to do a couple of songs people are wondering if they will get back together romanticlly as well. I am first wondering why is this news? Then I asked a couple of the girls that I work with what they thought. Two said they probably would and that maybe she deserved that beat down. I asked "So are we doing things to deserve beat downs now?" she replyed "no, but what were they talking about?" So I come home and ask my husband about it and he says the same thing. I am going to say this in the only way that I know how people, it is a sad fucking day in hell when your self esteem is sooooo low that you allow yourself to lowered by someone elses standards! Do I need to put it in all caps! LOVE YOUR FUCKING SELF! NO ONE HAS THE RIGHT TO TOUCH YOU! I mean damn where do we draw the line? Does that girl with the nice legs and the short shirt deserve to be raped? When you are born in a low income family do you deserve to be poor? No. We all choose what we want, and I am not saying we don't make mistakes along the way, but just because I live near mud doesn't mean I deserve to have it all over my shoes!
xoxoxoxo
Corey

Yellow

I tricked myself today,
told myself that having any part of you,
was just as good as having all of you.
I might as well call it a lie,
call it yellow,
give it a little piece of everything,
but it still wouldn't be your heart and soul.
It would still be pain inside and out.
Be soft touches and shouts.
But instead lets just call it yellow.
That will do...

The boy in the bag issue!!!!

Hello All,

I recently read an article were a school in Loiusville, Ky thought it was ok to put one of their nine year old autisic children in a duffle bag. Now I read the article on Yahoo.com after being linked to it after my sister read it and shared it with me. I am a mother of a six year old high functioning autisic boy myself, but found it disturbing on many levels not just that one.
The link to the article on Yahoo new is http://news.yahoo.com/school-accused-putting-autistic-student-bag-182229844.html


The school states that the reason why they put the little boy in this bag is that he was all over the place, so they put him into this so called therapy bag! They try to back up their story by saying that they also had to call the parents of the child. My question to the school is why put the child in the bag? Why not have the child wait in the office until the parent arrived if they were already on the way? The mother stated that she walked up and her son was in this bag with his head peaking out the top saying "momma is that you?". The school even goes as far as to say that this was not even the first time the boy had been in the bag. So why didn't they call the parents the other times as well? There is a girl that writes a blog and she has no knowledge of my blog what so ever. But she is a 18 year old autisic girl who set up a petition that I am going to encourage everyone to go to. The website is called change.org and her name is Lydia Brown and she is a Georgetown University student in Boston.

I am going to put out there that this whole mess puts the worst taste in Miss Corey's mouth! They are sure lucky that it was not my son. Which brings to mind another question I have, since the article clearly states that the child was in special education and he had special needs. I know he had an IEP, it is part of no child left behind. So I know that put a child in a bag isn't part of an IEP is it. You know what, I am about to go sign that petition right now!


xoxoxoxo
Corey




Site:
SCHREINER,B(Dec.22,2011)School accused of putting autistic student in bag
YahooNews@Yahoo.com

how important is sex in your relationship?

Hello again,

The end of summer is here again and you know what that means! Everyone will go from dressing like sex on a beach to warmer choices like jeans and light jackets. Then the winter will be in full swing and everyone knows that everyone wants someone to snuggle up close to on those balmy nights. It is also a widely known thought that men tend to be more into dating when it is snowing outside. But the effects of winter love can set the tone for the rest of the relationship. Is the soul gripping sex you had when you first met your love going to be able to hold up as the cold turns warm or more importantly when the new relationship turns into a seasoned one.
Not having sex as often as you once did does not mean the fire went out does it? Of course not, there are a number of different aspects that are also involved like, age, stress, illness. Damn don't be so selfish all the time! So men bug their women to have sex more often, married men more than single but it still happens. But I tell you this from a married woman's piont of view. I love that fact that after all this time you still find me worth while, but when you want to bully me into anything sexual you have now turned something that I used to want into a chore I have to perform before I can get some sleep. Last time I checked no one likes chores!
Why should I have to enjoy it any less because you are guiltying me into it. If you are making that big a deal about it maybe the relationship isn't as picture perfect as you thought. Can your relationship stain that storm? If not you have some things to think about.

Fear

As a child we fear many of the unknown. We fear the dark, insects, dogs and even loud noises. Fear is defined in many circles as a real or precieved threat to the mind or body. So we tell our children that there is nothing to fear in the dark corner of their room. Be a big boy and go to sleep. But fear is natural. The things that we fear just change, but the fear never goes away.

As an adult the fear is different but very real. Fear is now dying alone, fear for your children, fear about sickness. I think the latter one is the most scary for adults. Your body is the one thing that you know better than anyone else, until you are sick. Then and only then are you looking outward to someone else to tell you what is wrong with you. Ask any person when they get sick of an unknown illness, the first thing you mind goes to is cancer. It's the scariest thing you can think of health wise. Then ask any cancer patient what they think of when they are told they have cancer. Most of the time it is dealth. The loss of life or limb can drag a person down so deep it is hard to recover from.

Did our fears of demons in the dark corner of the room manifest into real dangers lerking outside in an alleyway waiting to rob you of your peace of mind? Maybe, but fear is needed to feel happiness. And happiness is needed to feel sadness or greatfullness. They are all much a part of us all. Different sides of the same dice. The secret is to not let them overcome who you are. Know that they are there and let faith be your nitelight.

xoxoxoxo
Corey

Are you just reacting to life?

We would all like to believe that we have as much control over the choices that we make and the paths that we walk. I myself will tell anyone quick that I have what I have because I worked hard and stayed loyal to my dreams no matter what surprises life threw my way. But as I think about where it actually is that my life is at this point I have noticed that it is not just my choices that got me to where I am now, don't get me wrong I did make most of my own choices. And I am happy with the life that has resulted from those choices. But the things I am talking about are the choices I made due to other people making choices for them that effected me. Now, time for an example. Have you ever heard "I am just not what you need right now"? First I am going to say this is a total bullshit excuse. But second you have now made a choice for me to move on even though that might not have been what I wanted at that time. Not my choice just the result of another person's choice. Now most of us have the ablity to dust ourselves off and get right back out there and find someone that will make us happy, but the fact remains a choice was made that wasn't your own. Some of us will even find the good in goodbye but again not by choice. So my point is life happens when it does,ready or not. It is not because of the choices you make alone, it is also depending on the choices we make as a result to the choices that are made for us. Whether we like it or not most of life is reacting to other peoples bullshit and somehow growing roses from crap. Now saying that I think I have a pretty great rose bush!
xoxoxoxo
Corey

The real difference between men and women.....

Hello Kiddies,
If no one minds I am just going to jump right into the subject at hand. Women have to work so much harder to achieve the goals they set and it is sometimes hard for men to understand. As if it were not enough for it to be always momma's baby and papa's maybe, women have to work so much harder in life than men do.

I am not saying that some things come easier to some women who have choosen to use their good looks to get what they want. Although the male species has found a way to make that into a dark side as well, I say own it sister! But for the woman that wants to be more and wants her man to be more and to want more it gets harder every day.

A man especially one in his late twenties has the advantage of not wanting to settle, but still gaining the kind of mate that he wants. A women especially if she is strong willed and determined has a hard time finding a man that will execpt her situation.

A man can be unemployed, have no education, and not really in a position to better the man that he should be, let alone do anything for his woman. Women adapt to the man, stand behind him, nurture him, and will even pay for his school. This same man will want a woman to change in order to be with him. Blame his insecurities on her, and sleep soundly at night knowing she can't sleep at night, thinking that the issues that he wants her to change are all her fault.

This is put on us as a woman, and we are always the ones with mood swings! Well if you ask me if you have a child, raise a child, go to school all while working a full time job and dealing with a selfish man-boy! Then you have the ability to rule the world. Women do any and everything, and all with a smile on her face and a gentle hug for child.

I tell you what, if you think you are man enough you are not until you can do the things that your woman can do! And still look like a fucking Goddess!

What it takes to be a man in the eyes of a black women or any women for that matter.

Hello all,
I know it has been a while, longer than I had planned in fact, but as always I have something to say. I know what you are thinking, another rave about how we must improve as a people. This is more than that. We just had Mothers Day and as Fathers Day is quickly approaching, I thought I would tell you what it takes to be a man from the eyes of a women.
First it is no longer just enough to fix a chair or kill a bug. And I personnally could care less how much money you make. I know some women do care but that is not where I am. The number one thing that is important to me, a busy black women on the move is being a good father.
I think that is no longer good enough to say "yeah that is my child" although for some dead beats that would sure be A welcome change. A real man helps his child with his homework, teaches him how to ride a bike, uses his last dime to make sure his child has lunch money. I am saying this because I have experienced both a dead beat who would rather pretend that his child didn't exsist. So much in fact that I doubt he told his new wife about his son. I have also encountered some awesome men who have raised children with love and caring as if they were their own, and they are. If it were not for these real men sent from heaven where would little children get the image of a daddy? Who would be their positive male role model? As we get closer to Fathers Day ask the men in your life do you deserve a Fathers Day, or do you have some things to work on. And by the way you can't use the excuse that you didn't have a good male role model because my husband didn't have a great role model but he is one of the best dads I have ever seen. Have a great June all!

Don't be fooled

Hello everyone! Happy New Years! In light of the new year, I want some of my people to get on their grind. First let me say this to my young black women, having his baby will neither trap, settle him down or make him want you when he doesn't. It is a flawed plan and on the off chance it did work to make him stay he will only resent you for it ladies. The track record isn't good on this I am asking you to Just stop. Second it is not evryone else's fault that you can't find a good job. Stop crying and move if you have to. Go back to school. Their are accredited school everywhere go online, on the weekend, join the military to go but do something, gotta get outside of your world and become apart of the real one( and not the tv show). And lastly in my first little rant of the new year! I am not sure how this thing got up and running but I will not be changing my sign, it helped shape who I am even if I don't get crazy with it. And I swear the new sign has the ugliest name ever. Sorry to whoever has to be that one !
Hugs and Kisses
Corey

Poem

Sorry everyone for not being here. I was living a life of love. It is truely wonderful. So I wrote a poem for my husband. Here it is.

A POEM FOR MY HUSBAND
FROM YOUR WIFE

LAST NITE YOU SAID I WILL LOVE YOU FOREVER
AND I KNOW THAT I WILL
WE DIDN’T MAKE LOVE
BUT YOU LOVED ME JUST THE SAME
THE PASSION NEVERS LEAVES YOU
I HEAR IT WHEN YOU SAY MY NAME
DO YOU KNOW YOU WILL FOREVER LOVE ME
I CAN SEE IT IN YOUR EYES
YOUR HEART ALWAYS KNEW
THIS IS NO SURPRISE
THERE WILL NEVER BE ANOTHER
THIS FIRE IN ME NO ONE CAN EVER SMOTHER
MY LOVE FOR YOU NEVER DIES

What you won't do

While having a completly fab weekend with my husband and some old friends in Miami, while at dinner we had a conversation. We were talking about that Destiny's Child song Cater to you. I noted how I didn't like it because to me it implied that I have to keep my body up for a man. Not that I don't go to the gym three times a week as it is. But I do it for myself. I like the way I look now that ever before in my life and I want to keep it that way. But my friend stated that the part of the song that says "just tap me and I will roll over". Being someone who loves her sleep I have a problem with that too. I work alot and although I love my husband very much sometimes I am just to tired. And another girl at the table noted that she is gonna roll over because if she doesn't then some other woman may. But I see it this way, being with a man is not going to be at the expense of my self respect. I am not just gonna blindly turn over even if I am sleep or not in the mood for fear that you will leave me. I have to have more respect for myself and my relationship than that. I have to know that when my husband wants to make love he wants me to make love with him as well. He respects that I have to sleep to be effective and save lives at work. He respects me as a person and not just some plaything that can have his way with me just because he "tapped my shoulder". I don't know if you agree or not just my point of view.
Till next time XOXOXOXO
Corey

How do you view yourself

I have to say that I know some of the most beautiful women on VA. In saying that a lot of us don't treat ourselves as the wonderful women we are. We are so concerned with trying to have someone to love us. What we don't realized is that we are loved, and in love all the time. We need to take the time to make sure that the number one person that you are loving is yourself. I know a lot of women who look at other women and say I am a good person, why don't the men or women as the case may have it, why don't they want me? Should I lose some weight? Buy some hair? Buy a new bag? And although I am a fan of the gym and the hair store, those things and places are not what defines me. So ladies what defines you? What do you love about you. Not saying don't go to the hair store, because I swear I am keeping one or two in business. But what I want to know is do you love yourself? Do you know yourself? Does knowing you feel good? I hope it does, As always my beautiful sisters, love yourself first.
XOXOXOXO Corey.

Black Women in America Today: Being Honest

Black Women in America Today: Being Honest

Being Honest

It has been said time and time again that honesty is the best policy, but does the average person want honesty? Or do they want a lie that will help them sleep at night? I have found that most people want a lie. Oh they will say they want the truth, until what I like to call an "ugly truth" appears, then they spend all their waking hours wishing they had the lie to comfort them in a dark lonely bed at night. I will tell you quickly that I love a lie. I tend to be in bliss with a lie. Don't get me wrong, I love the bliss, but can't respect it. It is like a booty call late in the night, that you can not be seen with in the public eye of daylight. The truth though often ugly I can respect. The truth is dependable like an old friend or your credit score. LOL. Well some people's score anyway. Whether it be personal or work related the truth is the truth no matter if it is sunny or rainy outside. Lies tend to morph into unreconizable beings that always let you down in the end.
So family do you want the truth or a lie?
When you decide let me know!XOXOXO Corey

Sterotypes

Hello Family,

Sorry for my absence, but I am back and ready to talk about something near and dear to me. As I have told you before I am a nurse. What many of you may not know is that I have been in nursing for about ten years now. As a young black woman with a career I have found that I am still effected by theses sterotypes. Which ones are you refering to you may ask? Well first as a young black woman people automaticly assume you have five kids and are on welfare. I for one do not see anything wrong with welfare for those who need it as a stepping stone to build a better life. In saying that, I myself have never been on welfare. But I deal with the sterotype on a daily basis. Then when people hear I am a nurse and a RN at that I always hear "you black girls sure are making a living for yourselves". Now how am I supposed to take that? Is it a compliment or a iggnorant comment? I have choosen the life and loves that are right for me. I planned ahead, studied and worked hard to have the life and family that I have. This sterotype really upsets me, what are the ones that upset you? It is like just because I am a young black female I have to prove myself before I can show anyone who I am. And I think by now everyone knows that I hate to be put in a box.
Till next time.
XOXOXO Corey

When you don't know what you have

Hello again family!
My topic today, has been called many things. Now days most of our youth calls it hating. I am going to go with not knowing what you have until its gone. Now this topic came about while me and my husband to be were talking about happiness. How do you know if you are happy? Do people find themselves thinking back on a time where they thought they were having a really rough time. And upon looking back think "damn I had a good time". Were they happy? Is the presence of a good time considered happiness? Now as always family, I will tell you my position on the subject, and I would really love some feedback. I think happiness is the frame of mind, when even though you are worried that bills may not get paid, and you have to go to work and do all the things that society tells you a responsible adult has to do. But when you get up and look around yourself, or in the mirror you smile. Through all the ups and downs and ins and outs, you still wouldn't be anywhere else. That is what my happiness is. What is yours.
With love until next time!
Truely Yours Corey

Monogamy

Awhile ago before my sister September got married, we had a conversation about whether or not if monogamy was realistic. As we all know monogamy is defined as the act of having only one sexual partner. Now in our society, be automaticly assume(which I urge you ladies never to do) that marriage is one of monogamy as well.

Now that I am close to marriage myself, someone else (I am thinking they are a hater myself) if I thought that a wife and husband of todays culture could be faithfull. I have to say I really with all my heart hope so. Now my internet family I have never been one to just lie for no reason. I don't believe in that. The question is do you or don't you believe that one person can stay totally committed to another person for the rest of their lives? I still am going to say yes. I mean I remember the time( not personally of course) where couples used to be married for, well life. I still see some of my elderly patients at my day( I should say night) job that have been married for sixty years so why not me too.

In a conversation that I had with my soon to be husband Mike yesterday, we described how we thought each other will look in sixty years. We saw ourselves still together but with noted changes. I saw him with a walker. LOL, and he said "no , I am going to have one of those chairs that spends on a dime, you better hop on it." Just the mere thought of imaging us together at that age made me smile and think hell yeah! He is the one for me.

My next question was, are these the questions that young people ask themselves before they get married nowadays? I urge my fellow young adults to ask yourself before any big decision. Will I still want this in twenty years? Even if you are asking it about a career change or a life partner, ask it. It will make all the difference if not make things a little clear.

Till next time, with love Corey

Respect in relationships

PulseHello internet family!
Today I would like to talk about respect in relationships. When is it respect and when is it an excuse to control your partner. Someone I know from high school posted a question which went along the lines of, if you are in a relationship do you erase the naked pictures of other men or women off your phone? And if you do not is it deemed disrespectfull to the other person. I thought yes, of course, once you make it to the relationship stage, you kinda have to put the things from your past relationships aside. Yes, even things from your booty calls ladies. But a male friend of the person who started the post said no. It was his view that the other person shouldn't be looking through your phone anyway. I can see his point, invading someones privacy is never a good way to start a relationship. On the other hand where does the respect start for your new relationship. I mean it is a crazy enough feeling the first time his cell rings and he stops what he is doing to send what seems like a long text. Then comes the six million dollar question. Who was that? Now you feel insecure, and at first he thinks you are a little bit crazy. The first thing you wonder is, did he tell all those other girls to back up? Are we both on the same page? Never assume ladies, but once you have the go ahead, where does the relationship respect start? I would love to hear what everyone has to say.

why lie

Telling Lies: Clues to Deceit in the Marketplace, Politics, and Marriage, Third EditionInsired by a very old lie


I sit here smiling at you

you don't know, but i know what you do

you are committed thats true

you stick to your story i give it to you

but i saw you, with her

her arms, wrapped around you like a warm coat

you kissed her with a warmth, a passion

i could not describe

i am not angry, no not at first

curious, my envy overwelms me

why is she so special, why am i not

but you are sitting here, in front of me

eating breakfast, explaining how so much work had to be done

and you would be home late again

not knowing that i know