Tuesday, August 14, 2012
surrender
I surrendered my mind and soul,
Now I stand here in the darkness slightly confused.
still dirty from the hole I felt awake enough to crawl out
Into the rain thinking that it would feel better.
be better.
Something more than the dirt suffocating me with its weight.
Instead I reach out into the cold, wet rain and I am sorry.
Sorry now that I, now know the pain of the rain.
sorry that I am no longer in my dirty, dark hole unable to find a way out
Surrender my disappointment
As I try to regain my balance.
regain my confidence.
in me. In you.
I surrender to hope.
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
What do you deserve?
Ok people so with with news today of Chris Brown and Rihanna getting together to do a couple of songs people are wondering if they will get back together romanticlly as well. I am first wondering why is this news? Then I asked a couple of the girls that I work with what they thought. Two said they probably would and that maybe she deserved that beat down. I asked "So are we doing things to deserve beat downs now?" she replyed "no, but what were they talking about?" So I come home and ask my husband about it and he says the same thing. I am going to say this in the only way that I know how people, it is a sad fucking day in hell when your self esteem is sooooo low that you allow yourself to lowered by someone elses standards! Do I need to put it in all caps! LOVE YOUR FUCKING SELF! NO ONE HAS THE RIGHT TO TOUCH YOU! I mean damn where do we draw the line? Does that girl with the nice legs and the short shirt deserve to be raped? When you are born in a low income family do you deserve to be poor? No. We all choose what we want, and I am not saying we don't make mistakes along the way, but just because I live near mud doesn't mean I deserve to have it all over my shoes!
xoxoxoxo
Corey
xoxoxoxo
Corey
Thursday, January 19, 2012
Yellow
I tricked myself today,
told myself that having any part of you,
was just as good as having all of you.
I might as well call it a lie,
call it yellow,
give it a little piece of everything,
but it still wouldn't be your heart and soul.
It would still be pain inside and out.
Be soft touches and shouts.
But instead lets just call it yellow.
That will do...
told myself that having any part of you,
was just as good as having all of you.
I might as well call it a lie,
call it yellow,
give it a little piece of everything,
but it still wouldn't be your heart and soul.
It would still be pain inside and out.
Be soft touches and shouts.
But instead lets just call it yellow.
That will do...
Friday, December 23, 2011
The boy in the bag issue!!!!
Hello All,
I recently read an article were a school in Loiusville, Ky thought it was ok to put one of their nine year old autisic children in a duffle bag. Now I read the article on Yahoo.com after being linked to it after my sister read it and shared it with me. I am a mother of a six year old high functioning autisic boy myself, but found it disturbing on many levels not just that one.
The link to the article on Yahoo new is http://news.yahoo.com/school-accused-putting-autistic-student-bag-182229844.html
The school states that the reason why they put the little boy in this bag is that he was all over the place, so they put him into this so called therapy bag! They try to back up their story by saying that they also had to call the parents of the child. My question to the school is why put the child in the bag? Why not have the child wait in the office until the parent arrived if they were already on the way? The mother stated that she walked up and her son was in this bag with his head peaking out the top saying "momma is that you?". The school even goes as far as to say that this was not even the first time the boy had been in the bag. So why didn't they call the parents the other times as well? There is a girl that writes a blog and she has no knowledge of my blog what so ever. But she is a 18 year old autisic girl who set up a petition that I am going to encourage everyone to go to. The website is called change.org and her name is Lydia Brown and she is a Georgetown University student in Boston.
I am going to put out there that this whole mess puts the worst taste in Miss Corey's mouth! They are sure lucky that it was not my son. Which brings to mind another question I have, since the article clearly states that the child was in special education and he had special needs. I know he had an IEP, it is part of no child left behind. So I know that put a child in a bag isn't part of an IEP is it. You know what, I am about to go sign that petition right now!
xoxoxoxo
Corey
Site:
SCHREINER,B(Dec.22,2011)School accused of putting autistic student in bag
YahooNews@Yahoo.com
I recently read an article were a school in Loiusville, Ky thought it was ok to put one of their nine year old autisic children in a duffle bag. Now I read the article on Yahoo.com after being linked to it after my sister read it and shared it with me. I am a mother of a six year old high functioning autisic boy myself, but found it disturbing on many levels not just that one.
The link to the article on Yahoo new is http://news.yahoo.com/school-accused-putting-autistic-student-bag-182229844.html
The school states that the reason why they put the little boy in this bag is that he was all over the place, so they put him into this so called therapy bag! They try to back up their story by saying that they also had to call the parents of the child. My question to the school is why put the child in the bag? Why not have the child wait in the office until the parent arrived if they were already on the way? The mother stated that she walked up and her son was in this bag with his head peaking out the top saying "momma is that you?". The school even goes as far as to say that this was not even the first time the boy had been in the bag. So why didn't they call the parents the other times as well? There is a girl that writes a blog and she has no knowledge of my blog what so ever. But she is a 18 year old autisic girl who set up a petition that I am going to encourage everyone to go to. The website is called change.org and her name is Lydia Brown and she is a Georgetown University student in Boston.
I am going to put out there that this whole mess puts the worst taste in Miss Corey's mouth! They are sure lucky that it was not my son. Which brings to mind another question I have, since the article clearly states that the child was in special education and he had special needs. I know he had an IEP, it is part of no child left behind. So I know that put a child in a bag isn't part of an IEP is it. You know what, I am about to go sign that petition right now!
xoxoxoxo
Corey
Site:
SCHREINER,B(Dec.22,2011)School accused of putting autistic student in bag
YahooNews@Yahoo.com
Saturday, September 10, 2011
how important is sex in your relationship?
Hello again,
The end of summer is here again and you know what that means! Everyone will go from dressing like sex on a beach to warmer choices like jeans and light jackets. Then the winter will be in full swing and everyone knows that everyone wants someone to snuggle up close to on those balmy nights. It is also a widely known thought that men tend to be more into dating when it is snowing outside. But the effects of winter love can set the tone for the rest of the relationship. Is the soul gripping sex you had when you first met your love going to be able to hold up as the cold turns warm or more importantly when the new relationship turns into a seasoned one.
Not having sex as often as you once did does not mean the fire went out does it? Of course not, there are a number of different aspects that are also involved like, age, stress, illness. Damn don't be so selfish all the time! So men bug their women to have sex more often, married men more than single but it still happens. But I tell you this from a married woman's piont of view. I love that fact that after all this time you still find me worth while, but when you want to bully me into anything sexual you have now turned something that I used to want into a chore I have to perform before I can get some sleep. Last time I checked no one likes chores!
Why should I have to enjoy it any less because you are guiltying me into it. If you are making that big a deal about it maybe the relationship isn't as picture perfect as you thought. Can your relationship stain that storm? If not you have some things to think about.
The end of summer is here again and you know what that means! Everyone will go from dressing like sex on a beach to warmer choices like jeans and light jackets. Then the winter will be in full swing and everyone knows that everyone wants someone to snuggle up close to on those balmy nights. It is also a widely known thought that men tend to be more into dating when it is snowing outside. But the effects of winter love can set the tone for the rest of the relationship. Is the soul gripping sex you had when you first met your love going to be able to hold up as the cold turns warm or more importantly when the new relationship turns into a seasoned one.
Not having sex as often as you once did does not mean the fire went out does it? Of course not, there are a number of different aspects that are also involved like, age, stress, illness. Damn don't be so selfish all the time! So men bug their women to have sex more often, married men more than single but it still happens. But I tell you this from a married woman's piont of view. I love that fact that after all this time you still find me worth while, but when you want to bully me into anything sexual you have now turned something that I used to want into a chore I have to perform before I can get some sleep. Last time I checked no one likes chores!
Why should I have to enjoy it any less because you are guiltying me into it. If you are making that big a deal about it maybe the relationship isn't as picture perfect as you thought. Can your relationship stain that storm? If not you have some things to think about.
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
Fear
As a child we fear many of the unknown. We fear the dark, insects, dogs and even loud noises. Fear is defined in many circles as a real or precieved threat to the mind or body. So we tell our children that there is nothing to fear in the dark corner of their room. Be a big boy and go to sleep. But fear is natural. The things that we fear just change, but the fear never goes away.
As an adult the fear is different but very real. Fear is now dying alone, fear for your children, fear about sickness. I think the latter one is the most scary for adults. Your body is the one thing that you know better than anyone else, until you are sick. Then and only then are you looking outward to someone else to tell you what is wrong with you. Ask any person when they get sick of an unknown illness, the first thing you mind goes to is cancer. It's the scariest thing you can think of health wise. Then ask any cancer patient what they think of when they are told they have cancer. Most of the time it is dealth. The loss of life or limb can drag a person down so deep it is hard to recover from.
Did our fears of demons in the dark corner of the room manifest into real dangers lerking outside in an alleyway waiting to rob you of your peace of mind? Maybe, but fear is needed to feel happiness. And happiness is needed to feel sadness or greatfullness. They are all much a part of us all. Different sides of the same dice. The secret is to not let them overcome who you are. Know that they are there and let faith be your nitelight.
xoxoxoxo
Corey
As an adult the fear is different but very real. Fear is now dying alone, fear for your children, fear about sickness. I think the latter one is the most scary for adults. Your body is the one thing that you know better than anyone else, until you are sick. Then and only then are you looking outward to someone else to tell you what is wrong with you. Ask any person when they get sick of an unknown illness, the first thing you mind goes to is cancer. It's the scariest thing you can think of health wise. Then ask any cancer patient what they think of when they are told they have cancer. Most of the time it is dealth. The loss of life or limb can drag a person down so deep it is hard to recover from.
Did our fears of demons in the dark corner of the room manifest into real dangers lerking outside in an alleyway waiting to rob you of your peace of mind? Maybe, but fear is needed to feel happiness. And happiness is needed to feel sadness or greatfullness. They are all much a part of us all. Different sides of the same dice. The secret is to not let them overcome who you are. Know that they are there and let faith be your nitelight.
xoxoxoxo
Corey
Sunday, July 31, 2011
Are you just reacting to life?
We would all like to believe that we have as much control over the choices that we make and the paths that we walk. I myself will tell anyone quick that I have what I have because I worked hard and stayed loyal to my dreams no matter what surprises life threw my way. But as I think about where it actually is that my life is at this point I have noticed that it is not just my choices that got me to where I am now, don't get me wrong I did make most of my own choices. And I am happy with the life that has resulted from those choices. But the things I am talking about are the choices I made due to other people making choices for them that effected me. Now, time for an example. Have you ever heard "I am just not what you need right now"? First I am going to say this is a total bullshit excuse. But second you have now made a choice for me to move on even though that might not have been what I wanted at that time. Not my choice just the result of another person's choice. Now most of us have the ablity to dust ourselves off and get right back out there and find someone that will make us happy, but the fact remains a choice was made that wasn't your own. Some of us will even find the good in goodbye but again not by choice. So my point is life happens when it does,ready or not. It is not because of the choices you make alone, it is also depending on the choices we make as a result to the choices that are made for us. Whether we like it or not most of life is reacting to other peoples bullshit and somehow growing roses from crap. Now saying that I think I have a pretty great rose bush!
xoxoxoxo
Corey
xoxoxoxo
Corey
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