Welcome

Welcome to the place where nothing is off limits! Sometimes it is hard to hear your voice in our society. This is a place where all I care about is your voice. I am a black working woman. But I know that sometimes people put you in a box. You are not just a wife, mother, nurse, sister, daughter. You are all those things and more. And sometimes you can't tell your husband how you feel about something, or maybe he just won't understand. Men maybe you feel like no one can know how hard it is to be a man in this day and time. Tell me why, I want us all to try to understand each other. Corey doesn't judge. I only want to talk. This is my safe place and I would love it to be yours as well. We will talk about everything from politics to sexual health. Let your voices be heard! Welcome.

Corey

Sunday, November 14, 2010

Poem

Sorry everyone for not being here. I was living a life of love. It is truely wonderful. So I wrote a poem for my husband. Here it is.

A POEM FOR MY HUSBAND
FROM YOUR WIFE

LAST NITE YOU SAID I WILL LOVE YOU FOREVER
AND I KNOW THAT I WILL
WE DIDN’T MAKE LOVE
BUT YOU LOVED ME JUST THE SAME
THE PASSION NEVERS LEAVES YOU
I HEAR IT WHEN YOU SAY MY NAME
DO YOU KNOW YOU WILL FOREVER LOVE ME
I CAN SEE IT IN YOUR EYES
YOUR HEART ALWAYS KNEW
THIS IS NO SURPRISE
THERE WILL NEVER BE ANOTHER
THIS FIRE IN ME NO ONE CAN EVER SMOTHER
MY LOVE FOR YOU NEVER DIES

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

What you won't do


While having a completly fab weekend with my husband and some old friends in Miami, while at dinner we had a conversation. We were talking about that Destiny's Child song Cater to you. I noted how I didn't like it because to me it implied that I have to keep my body up for a man. Not that I don't go to the gym three times a week as it is. But I do it for myself. I like the way I look now that ever before in my life and I want to keep it that way. But my friend stated that the part of the song that says "just tap me and I will roll over". Being someone who loves her sleep I have a problem with that too. I work alot and although I love my husband very much sometimes I am just to tired. And another girl at the table noted that she is gonna roll over because if she doesn't then some other woman may. But I see it this way, being with a man is not going to be at the expense of my self respect. I am not just gonna blindly turn over even if I am sleep or not in the mood for fear that you will leave me. I have to have more respect for myself and my relationship than that. I have to know that when my husband wants to make love he wants me to make love with him as well. He respects that I have to sleep to be effective and save lives at work. He respects me as a person and not just some plaything that can have his way with me just because he "tapped my shoulder". I don't know if you agree or not just my point of view.
Till next time XOXOXOXO
Corey

Thursday, July 22, 2010

How do you view yourself

I have to say that I know some of the most beautiful women on VA. In saying that a lot of us don't treat ourselves as the wonderful women we are. We are so concerned with trying to have someone to love us. What we don't realized is that we are loved, and in love all the time. We need to take the time to make sure that the number one person that you are loving is yourself. I know a lot of women who look at other women and say I am a good person, why don't the men or women as the case may have it, why don't they want me? Should I lose some weight? Buy some hair? Buy a new bag? And although I am a fan of the gym and the hair store, those things and places are not what defines me. So ladies what defines you? What do you love about you. Not saying don't go to the hair store, because I swear I am keeping one or two in business. But what I want to know is do you love yourself? Do you know yourself? Does knowing you feel good? I hope it does, As always my beautiful sisters, love yourself first.
XOXOXOXO Corey.

Friday, July 2, 2010

Black Women in America Today: Being Honest

Black Women in America Today: Being Honest

Being Honest

It has been said time and time again that honesty is the best policy, but does the average person want honesty? Or do they want a lie that will help them sleep at night? I have found that most people want a lie. Oh they will say they want the truth, until what I like to call an "ugly truth" appears, then they spend all their waking hours wishing they had the lie to comfort them in a dark lonely bed at night. I will tell you quickly that I love a lie. I tend to be in bliss with a lie. Don't get me wrong, I love the bliss, but can't respect it. It is like a booty call late in the night, that you can not be seen with in the public eye of daylight. The truth though often ugly I can respect. The truth is dependable like an old friend or your credit score. LOL. Well some people's score anyway. Whether it be personal or work related the truth is the truth no matter if it is sunny or rainy outside. Lies tend to morph into unreconizable beings that always let you down in the end.
So family do you want the truth or a lie?
When you decide let me know!XOXOXO Corey

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Sterotypes


Hello Family,

Sorry for my absence, but I am back and ready to talk about something near and dear to me. As I have told you before I am a nurse. What many of you may not know is that I have been in nursing for about ten years now. As a young black woman with a career I have found that I am still effected by theses sterotypes. Which ones are you refering to you may ask? Well first as a young black woman people automaticly assume you have five kids and are on welfare. I for one do not see anything wrong with welfare for those who need it as a stepping stone to build a better life. In saying that, I myself have never been on welfare. But I deal with the sterotype on a daily basis. Then when people hear I am a nurse and a RN at that I always hear "you black girls sure are making a living for yourselves". Now how am I supposed to take that? Is it a compliment or a iggnorant comment? I have choosen the life and loves that are right for me. I planned ahead, studied and worked hard to have the life and family that I have. This sterotype really upsets me, what are the ones that upset you? It is like just because I am a young black female I have to prove myself before I can show anyone who I am. And I think by now everyone knows that I hate to be put in a box.
Till next time.
XOXOXO Corey

Saturday, May 29, 2010

When you don't know what you have

Hello again family!
My topic today, has been called many things. Now days most of our youth calls it hating. I am going to go with not knowing what you have until its gone. Now this topic came about while me and my husband to be were talking about happiness. How do you know if you are happy? Do people find themselves thinking back on a time where they thought they were having a really rough time. And upon looking back think "damn I had a good time". Were they happy? Is the presence of a good time considered happiness? Now as always family, I will tell you my position on the subject, and I would really love some feedback. I think happiness is the frame of mind, when even though you are worried that bills may not get paid, and you have to go to work and do all the things that society tells you a responsible adult has to do. But when you get up and look around yourself, or in the mirror you smile. Through all the ups and downs and ins and outs, you still wouldn't be anywhere else. That is what my happiness is. What is yours.
With love until next time!
Truely Yours Corey

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Monogamy


Awhile ago before my sister September got married, we had a conversation about whether or not if monogamy was realistic. As we all know monogamy is defined as the act of having only one sexual partner. Now in our society, be automaticly assume(which I urge you ladies never to do) that marriage is one of monogamy as well.

Now that I am close to marriage myself, someone else (I am thinking they are a hater myself) if I thought that a wife and husband of todays culture could be faithfull. I have to say I really with all my heart hope so. Now my internet family I have never been one to just lie for no reason. I don't believe in that. The question is do you or don't you believe that one person can stay totally committed to another person for the rest of their lives? I still am going to say yes. I mean I remember the time( not personally of course) where couples used to be married for, well life. I still see some of my elderly patients at my day( I should say night) job that have been married for sixty years so why not me too.

In a conversation that I had with my soon to be husband Mike yesterday, we described how we thought each other will look in sixty years. We saw ourselves still together but with noted changes. I saw him with a walker. LOL, and he said "no , I am going to have one of those chairs that spends on a dime, you better hop on it." Just the mere thought of imaging us together at that age made me smile and think hell yeah! He is the one for me.

My next question was, are these the questions that young people ask themselves before they get married nowadays? I urge my fellow young adults to ask yourself before any big decision. Will I still want this in twenty years? Even if you are asking it about a career change or a life partner, ask it. It will make all the difference if not make things a little clear.

Till next time, with love Corey

Thursday, May 6, 2010

Respect in relationships

PulseHello internet family!
Today I would like to talk about respect in relationships. When is it respect and when is it an excuse to control your partner. Someone I know from high school posted a question which went along the lines of, if you are in a relationship do you erase the naked pictures of other men or women off your phone? And if you do not is it deemed disrespectfull to the other person. I thought yes, of course, once you make it to the relationship stage, you kinda have to put the things from your past relationships aside. Yes, even things from your booty calls ladies. But a male friend of the person who started the post said no. It was his view that the other person shouldn't be looking through your phone anyway. I can see his point, invading someones privacy is never a good way to start a relationship. On the other hand where does the respect start for your new relationship. I mean it is a crazy enough feeling the first time his cell rings and he stops what he is doing to send what seems like a long text. Then comes the six million dollar question. Who was that? Now you feel insecure, and at first he thinks you are a little bit crazy. The first thing you wonder is, did he tell all those other girls to back up? Are we both on the same page? Never assume ladies, but once you have the go ahead, where does the relationship respect start? I would love to hear what everyone has to say.

Monday, May 3, 2010

why lie

Telling Lies: Clues to Deceit in the Marketplace, Politics, and Marriage, Third EditionInsired by a very old lie


I sit here smiling at you

you don't know, but i know what you do

you are committed thats true

you stick to your story i give it to you

but i saw you, with her

her arms, wrapped around you like a warm coat

you kissed her with a warmth, a passion

i could not describe

i am not angry, no not at first

curious, my envy overwelms me

why is she so special, why am i not

but you are sitting here, in front of me

eating breakfast, explaining how so much work had to be done

and you would be home late again

not knowing that i know

feelings (post of utter discontent)

Trouble In MindWhat are feelings. Are they just little annoyances that women have and can't control just to annoy men and the other people that don't agree. Upon a conversation that i had earlier this year i was told that i can control my feelings but i just chose not to. I say to that even if i tell you that i am not mad when i am isn't going to make me not mad. That is stupid. if i feel something then that is what it is whether it be happy, sad, anger, or any other random emotion that i chose to display at that time. And saying otherwise is not going to make me any better or worse and its damn sure not going to make it easier to interact with me. because if i lie to you and say, no i'm not mad, i still am and i am actually holding a grudge against you. and that never ends well. I guess that what i am saying on this little rant of mine is this: if you don't want me to lie to you about anything then why is it ok to hide or lie about my feelings. I am not really happy, and you can't force me. so there. let me know your thoughts if you have any. Love sucks. goodnight

Afraid of alone

Leave Your Sleep (2CD)Dark Tide, The


Has anyone ever heard the saying that, a beautiful woman is the most inscure woman? It is true and nothing brings it out more than a woman in love. At first you try to talk to yourself like no, stop this! this is not me! You try to shake the feelings. Thinking to yourself what does it matter if he doesn't love me. There are 10 other brothers out there right now wishing i would call them so they could have the chance to love me. But none of those other men matter. You could care less. And if you were to even meet up with any of these men you would feel empty inside. WHY you ask. HE is not the one you want. The one you want makes you laugh and cry. Makes you feel loved and forgotten at the same time! The one you love doesn't understand half of what you are saying but tries his best to. The one that loves you is in awe that a beautiful woman such as you is so inscure, and so afraid of alone. He is in awe because he says he would never leave you, so you live in fear that one day he will.So i say to you beautiful woman try to live in love, instead of fear it!

Step it up

Hello everyone!
I was standing outside my apartment building yesterday playing with my son, and I overheard some of my people(you know who you are) saying how the system failed them once again. Once my soon to be husband got in the house I ask him what did he mean by that? He replied that the young man had lost his job. And was having a hard time finding another one in this area. I was also on a certain social networking site that shall remain nameless, and I noticed a pattern of young black men also stating that they were having problems finding work. I asked one of them what kind of education they had recieved and they said I have my high school diploma. The way he said it was as if that was all that was required of him. There was no ambition to have more education, or even have a career. All he aspired to have is a job. He felt like he was owed a job. Now I am here to tell you my fellow young people no one in this world owes you one penny. I don't know if you been under a rock, but money is hard to come by right now. I don't know if you thought that President Obama was going to be elected President and money was just going to fall out of the sky. Although he is making great progress, it is still on you to make your dreams come true. You can't blame it on the MAN that you don't have the education to start a career. Go to school. There are many choices now. There is no excuse. I am going to go so far as to say there is not any need for affirmative action at this time in American history. Yes, it had it's time and place. But now there are so many opportunites out there now that there is really no excuse. Some of my black men what to sit here and act like niggas, that is right I said it. But all you are doing is pulling yourselves down. Now I know that I said Corey doesn't judge. And I still don't. I just want you to want more from yourself. If you thought that high school diploma felt good, just wait until you feel the air of accomplishment you feel with a college degree. I am working on another one myself. We have to be better than how we are portrayed on the Wire. Try to be better than you ever thought that you could be.

Saturday, May 1, 2010

Change


It is always said that most people are afraid of change. I am going to disagree and say that it is not the change itself but what the change may bring. Some of you are scratching your heads out there saying isn't that the same thing. Yes and no. See no answer is black and white. I was emailed at work, and told that my employer would be watching me. By that I mean they claimed to be watching my facebook, twitter, myspace to make sure I was not talking badly about them. Then after saying that they threatened to delete posts that they didn't like. So by the action they are saying you cannot go home, on the computer you paid for and post on your facebook or other social network that you had a bad day and work sucks. Your right to privacy and free speech gone just like that, for the sake of staying quiet and keeping your job. After all we are still in a recession, and those of us who have a job are lucky right. I don't know about you good people out there, but I served my country during a time of war. I did my part, then got out and got my degrees all so someone who doesn't even fully grasp what freedom means to tell me I can't express my self. My, my people big brother getting a little to real for me. Most people want revamp whole ways of thinking without having the basics. Did your mother ask you to jump from laying on your back to riding a bike? No ma'am! You crawl before you walk. All I am saying is change is a process not a magical wand that CEO's can use to make their dick bigger.